To tell or not to tell picture


To tell or not to tell? One of the major areas of serious marital conflicts is when a secret is discovered. A secret is a piece of information (truth) that is kept away from people. Keeping a truth away is lying either by omission or commission. It takes a lot of energy and craftiness to conceal truth     

   “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (Gen. 2:25)

 “..He who takes crooked path will be found out.”   (Prov. 10:9)

Keeping truth from your spouse leads to a lot of anxieties and fear of being discovered. It provokes divine judgement and eventually when the truth is discovered, leads to shame and embarrassments.

 Why keep a secret?

There is nothing hidden that shall not eventually be revealed. Taking crooked paths is susceptible to being found out and disgraced. When you lie to your spouse, and your spouse believes you in the name of the Lord, you set yourself in conflict with God. God is the referee between husband and wife (Mal. 2:14). To lie to your spouse is treachery against the marriage covenant. Husband and wife are required by God to be naked (truthful) to each other and not be ashamed.

Why do people tell lies?

Some people tell lies habitually. They don’t have to think about it. Lies flow seamlessly through their mouth. They may really have no reason to deceive, yet they lie about everything. They are pathological liars. This is not a Christian virtue. Satan is the deceiver and the liar (John 8:44). Christians are honest people. They don’t tell lies. If you are a habitual liar, you can’t claim to be born again. However, if you just got saved, then you need to surrender your lies to God and start living honestly. “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (II Cor. 5:17). The Holy Spirit cannot work with a habitual liar.

Another reason people lie and deceive is the fear of consequences. When people want to escape the consequences of their actions, they tell lies to cover up. Whichever way it goes, there will always be consequences, but which consequence is greater, the one from man or the one from God?

Some tell lies in order to be accepted. They feel people or their spouse will not accept them the way they are, so they make up with lies. But when the truth comes to light, the situation is made worse. Someone who cannot accept you the way you are is not the will of God for you. The nature of lies is that they don’t last forever. Somehow, the truth will come to the surface and the liar will be put to shame.

Keeping the truth away

If you desire a successful marriage, honesty and integrity should be your watch words. Make sure you do not do such things that you will need to keep as secrets. Live faithfully and you will have no need to worry or be anxious about the truth. In marriage, to tell or not to tell should never be a question. Everything must be told!

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