Lies of the past
Couples should endeavour to say the truth about their past to each other. Many marriages had collapsed because a hidden secret about the past came to light. There was the story of John and Jane. They were a lovely couple. John works in a bank while Jane runs a supermarket. They have been married for five years now without the fruit of the womb. They have both done several tests and gone for prayers in several churches without any luck. In the past, before Jane gave her life to Christ, she already lived a rough life. While going through her last abortion, her womb became perforated. She knew what happened and almost cried her eyes out of their sockets, but the deed was already done.
When Jane met John, she was already a Christian. The going was good. Everything went well about their relationship. They shared everything that happened in the past except the issue of the perforated womb. Even after they got married, this truth remained a treasured secret Jane kept from John.
Many times, she felt like saying it out but she just couldn’t summon the courage. Five years passed with Jane still keeping this truth away from her husband. They have spent a lot of money going for tests. Jane had since lost her peace. She was always full of anxieties and fear. She wished she could set herself free one day.
At last, the truth came out. The doctor, after some series of more tests, called John aside and asked him to get the truth of Jane’s past from her. John called Jane and seriously demanded to know the truth. There was no place to hide. Jane had to let the cat out of the bag with trembling lips. John was at a loss. Reality dawned on him. For a moment, the future became blank. He could not tell if he actually heard Jane properly. As at now, Jane is still sobbing, while John is still at a loss. Only God can save this marriage!
There was this other couple who started their marital conflicts and distrusts from their first night of honey moon. The wife claimed she was a virgin, but there was no blood on the bedspread after they broke the ice. Even though the husband never claimed to be a virgin, he still felt deceived and wondered if he could ever trust his wife again. There was a similar case of Peter and his wife. Peter got married as a virgin. He had been made to believe all along by his cherished spouse that he was in love with a virgin. After the marriage ceremonies, at the honeymoon, his wife was proved wrong, and a series of confessions followed. What a way to start a lifelong relationship?
Andrew had a child out of wedlock. He later got married without letting his wife know he was already a father. He claimed he did not want to upset her. Now, there is trouble brewing in their home because the big boy outside came to visit his father.
Be open and truthful
Every past relationship especially sexual relationships should be discussed before marriage. You will always find somebody who likes you the way you are. Your case is never the worst. It is always better at the end to stay true from the beginning.
If you enter marriage deceiving your spouse, you will always have yourself to blame for it. It is either the truth will eventually come or leak out with an adverse effect on your marriage, or you will have to live in guilt for the rest of your life. If the truth of your past is said to your spouse before marriage, it is honesty. If it is kept until after marriage, it is deception and treachery. After you have kept a truth away from your spouse and you are now married, if you repent of your dishonesty and tell your spouse by yourself, it is a confession. If your spouse had to stumble on the truth, it is a discovery. Confessions are easier to forgive than discoveries.
Don’t wait until your spouse finds you out. Do a general sanitation of your heart. It’s better now than later. Marriage is a sensitive relationship.