WHEN A SECRET IS DISCOVERED OR CONFESSED
What happens when you discover that your trusted spouse had been hiding something from you for many years? What if your spouse called you and confessed a secret sin? A woman suddenly found out that her deeply religious husband had been stealing time to feed and meditate on pornography. What should happen at a discovery like this? If you investigated a rumour and caught your spouse red handed in an extra marital affair, what do you do? What if you discovered that your spouse’s hidden secret of the past is the reason for your delay in having a baby?
There was a certain woman who was raped by two boys when she was in the secondary school. From that time, she hated men and abhorred sex. She made up her mind never to truly love any man in her life. As events unfolded later, she got married to a handsome young man. They met at the medical school and are now both doctors. This woman was always frigid when it comes to sex. The husband never had a moment of true sexual fulfilment with her. The husband said if not for the fact that they are in Christ, he would have gone outside to try other women.
Be courageous to tell the truth
For fifteen years, this woman kept this experience as a secret to her husband. According to her, she went through a lot of emotional traumas in her marriage especially when her husband made sexual advances to her. One day, she heard a message like the one you are reading in this post and decided to summon courage to let the cat out of the bag. You can imagine how the husband felt on hearing this story from his wife. He exclaimed in anger and asked why the wife made him to suffer for the sin he knew nothing about for fifteen years! At the end of the day, through counselling and the maturity of this couple, they both received healing for their hurts. According to them, all inhibitions are now gone. Their sexual relationship is now supersonic.
There is always a crisis any time a secret is uncovered in a marriage relationship. The outcome of the crisis depends on the gravity of the betrayal and especially how the crisis is managed. There is no small or big crisis in marriage. If a seemingly small crisis is not properly handled by the partners concerned, it can eventually boomerang into an explosion and destroy the marriage. Anytime there is crisis in a marriage, the couple should be cautious and display enough maturity and understanding in order to rescue their relationship from disintegration. If any crisis is handled maturely and with understanding by both partners, it can become an opportunity to strengthen their relationship instead of destroying or weakening it.
A trying time
A time of crisis is usually a trying time. The betrayed partner feels devastated and deeply hurt. The urge to react negatively with physical assault or revenge with a counter betrayer becomes very high. Trust is uprooted until further notice. Doubt and resentment fill the air. People react differently in crisis. Some become ‘dumb’ with amazement and fully withdrawn. Others burst out in outrage.